we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
