But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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