the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
