she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
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