In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
No subtext here. People are naked.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Randomize
