can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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