just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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