Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Randomize
