Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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