I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
