It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Randomize
