Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Randomize
