It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Randomize
