It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I deserve to be covered in dicks
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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