when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize