Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
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