in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
we're making bets on your personal life
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
