had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Ketchup is God's man juice
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Randomize
