my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Randomize
