I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
