fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Randomize
