He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
