She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
