We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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