You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
