im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Randomize
