I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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