just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
