Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
