I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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