Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Randomize
