tell your sister to shave her snatch
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
