margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
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