wrigley field is MILF paradise
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
