Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
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