Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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