38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
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