So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
