She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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