And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
