Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize