I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
is wine microwaveable?
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
