hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Randomize
