I accidentally had phone sex last night
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
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