you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
