You're a womanizer and a bitch.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
