P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
