What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
