so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
