I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
i think i have herpe
just one?
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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