You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
