under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
did i just pee glitter
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Randomize