I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Randomize