I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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