He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
