Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
