should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
