is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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