i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
