Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Randomize
