i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
