Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
